What is Your Lifestyle?

 

 

Few of us know HOW to answer that question.

"We're just trying to get by, girl."

 

Many of us are running around trying to do all the things necessary in a day: getting the kids off to school, dashing to work, rushing back home to throw food down one child's throat to get him or her off to his/her latest practice, game or recital, smiling at other adults in the same boat wanting to get into our business then dragging our self and said child (maybe it's children because we had no child care and had to drag ALL the children with us) back home to get into bed, and do it all again the next day.

 

Others of us are just stunned. Stunned we are the ages we are. Stunned, we're doing the jobs we're doing (and not in a good way). STUNNED about how we got here, not to mention, wondering, WHAT the HECK WE ARE DOING  and HOW DO WE GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

 

Then there are those of us Faking It: putting on a show, pretending to LIVE a life we simply cannot afford. Ya know? Like we are Oprah Winfrey or Michael Jordan or P Diddy (notice I didn't even mention the Kardashians who don't come close to our top ten Black income earners!). But, believing, by PORTRAYING this lifestyle, we are living it. Sadly, we are oblivious to the fact, that we are not "Living It"; we are simply "Faking It." We are living the Lifestyle of Fakers.

 

That's depressing.

 

So, as Arsenio Hall used to say (I know, TOTALLY dated myself), "Let's Get Real."

 

Let us start with an understanding of what a Lifestyle is, and why it is so important to be TRUE to living one.

 

Defined by Oxford Dictionary - yes, I said, DICTIONARY. Remember that old dusty book? A lifestyle is a particular way to live by a person or group of people... O.kay, that was boring... so, I went to the internet which pretty much said the same thing - except! - for Business Dictionary.com where it expanded the definition with:  Lifestyle is expressed in both work and leisure behaviour patterns and (on an individual basis) in activities, attitudes, interests, opinions, VALUES and allocation of income. It also reflects (and here's the key point) people's SELF IMAGE or SELF CONCEPT; the way they see themselves and believe they are seen by the others. Lifestyle is a composite of motivations, needs, and wants and is influenced by factors such as culture, family, reference groups, and social class.
 

If we take a moment to explore this definition, it is obvious, the question, "What is Your Lifestyle?" is really asking several questions: What are your values? How do you see yourself (and equally relevant) how do you want OTHERS to see you?  What motivates you? What are your needs? What do you want? How has your family influenced you? And the most important question, to answer: By what group of people do YOU evaluate YOURSELF and YOUR standards? In other words, who do you aspire to be like? To whom do you see yourself similar? I love this question because it  forces you to THINK about who you are or more to the truth, who you WANT to be.

 

Tony Robbins says the key to success is to emulate - yes, copy - the people you admire.

 

Those people you want to be like or who are similar to how you see yourself - is your reference group. Modelling their behaviour, in essence, is how you wish to be and how you want others to see you.

 

So, if that hardworking family oriented person who spends time fulfilling the needs of their children is with whom you identify, good for you. Just ensure you are not so busy fulfilling your kids' needs, you miss out on intimately knowing your children, and expressing your love through unconditional affection.  If laughing and having cocktails with your friends is your idea of living life to the fullest, go for it - just ensure you can maintain your social enthusiasm by respecting a budget! Pot luck themed parties cost less than a quick run to Vegas.

 

As for the individual stuck, stunned, unhappy with your current situation. Time for Change. Review the above questions, taking the time to answer them sincerely. It is unnecessary to plop on the nearest couch and dissect your childhood - well for most of you, anyway - but it IS necessary to check in with yourself and COMMIT to your answers.

 

Maybe, you are stuck because you DON'T WANT to be the person you truly want to be - s/he requires too much time, energy, sacrifices, dedication, WORK. If this is the case, at least OWN the fact that you are basically too unmotivated to be true to yourself. Or too scared. That honesty can be more satisfying than you realize. It might actually be the motivation you need to living and loving your life

 

Just trying to get by is not good enough. It lacks the APPRECIATION of the incredible existence we have the opportunity to explore and experience.

 

Worse than having a terribly lifestyle, is living a clueless life.